Hey, America! You did a good job and to celebrate we've got a very special episode in which we barely talk about politics because we had no idea what was going to happen when we recorded this. Topics include a surprisingly horny coffee fact, what to do when your date falls asleep, masturbation and virginity, how to tell your partner they're not good in bed, using "faking it" as a weapon, the most important metric in which to evaluate breasts.