Here’s what I learned from Life On Delay by John Hendrickson:

On Structure:

When you open with a big event, where something big is about to happen, it creates suspense.
The opening is a pivotal moment. There was life before this moment, and then there’s life after.
Around ¾ of the way through the book he comes back to this moment and finishes the story.
The life-changing moment is only the beginning of the major changes to come for John (aka, the main character). The life changing moment, then, is a catalyst for change and growth.

On the relationships with his family, namely his brother Matt:

Adjectives are manipulative when describing the people you’re close to. Showing is always more compelling than telling.
When writing about your past—especially your adolescence—the best way to evoke emotion out of the reader is to leave your feelings out of it, whether they were your feelings back then or your feelings now.
The best way to introduce a main character in your story is through multiple stories about them.
When introducing a character who you had or have a troubled relationship with, it’s important to write about them completely separate from you. So there should be stories that involve you AND stories that don’t involve you, so the reader can get a fuller sense of who this person is.
Phrases I will never write in my own book: “I don’t blame them,” or “absolutely thrilled.”

Other Notes:

When jumping around to past, present, and future, it’s important to find ways of anchoring the reader and orienting them by letting them know where we are on the timeline, in relation to big events that have already occurred in the story.
Freeze frame: when you’ve finally arrived at a big moment—in this book’s case, a hard conversation—one way to build suspense is to break up the dialogue by commenting on something else that’s happening at the same time. In this instance, John wrote about what was going on in his head simultaneously.

On Endings:

A powerful way to end is with a story. It doesn’t have to be fancy or clever. This was simple, abrupt, and beautiful.

Here’s the link to Michael Dean’s video about the David Foster Wallace essay:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wbjup1xuo8Q&t=1s

Memoir Snob